This piece of writing is likely to be a complete brain dump as it is inspired by a couple of moments over the past 72 hours.
First I will tell you a story.
On Monday at 7am, I finished teaching and saying goodbye to all of my class participants and noticed a contractor was leching. When everyone was out of earshot, he says to me "You're doing too much!", to which I replied "Excuse me?". He replies "You're doing too much, you're muscle on muscle. A little girl like you doesn't need all that muscle!".
Take a moment to absorb.
Bare in mind, this is my first encounter with this human.
So my reply was short "Do I look like a little girl?" and I walked away. This man doesn't deserve my time or energy.
The thing that struck me was, being this isn't the first time such an encounter has happened over the past three years. At what stage did it become okay to openly comment on peoples bodies. Since we know it is definitely not okay to "fat-shame", and people are generally more cautious about "skinny-shaming" but what about "fit-shaming"...apparently its also ok to "slut-shame" in the case of Kim Kardashian. Who the fuck is anybody to make any kind of comment about anyones body, regardless of shape or state of dress? It's so bizarre to me.
Many would argue that putting ourselves on social media leaves us open to this. I guess in a way I agree. You can't be okay with all the positive comments and not the negative if you put yourself on a social platform. Only way to avoid that is to not share it publically BUT my mum always said "if you haven't got anything nice to say, SHUT THE FUCK UP"....(Okay she said "don't say anything at all"...but I like my version better) If you don't like something, keep scrolling, unfollow etc etc.
In my case though, this happened to me while I was just doing my job. This nobody felt he had some right to verbally comment on my property, my body. Why is that?
In the case of social media commenting, I have definitely looked at sexy pics of women on instagram and thought "oh my god, why are they throwing their sexuality out like that?!" but the truth is, I kind of wish I felt confident enough in my body to do that. If my boobs were bigger, if my abs were tighter, if my ass was rounder, if I was more at ease with my sexuality would I not do the same. I'm not sure, I'm not in that place to comment. Part of me feels that we hate what we don't understand, as it is threatening to us. I don't know what it feels like to be so at ease with my body that I can post a pic of me completely naked bar two strips over my private parts....I kind of wish I was.
Maybe I should do it just to feel what it feels like?
I think my point is, be true to you. Your body, your rules and people are definitely going to talk. Not everyone was brought up with the manners to keep their negativity to themselves. As long as you are comfortable, happy and not hurting anyone (including yourself) that is all that matter.